# 3

This is a memory. Several memories, actually, but it's about something most people would only experience once, and there would be no coming back from it once it happens... but it seems, unlike most people, I got to experience it, come back, multiple times, as though it was just another walk to the local park.

As time doesn't seem to exist where I appear to be right now, I'm unsure as to how long ago this was, but it's recent enough to remember. Somehow, it feels more recent than it really is. The most recent incident was soon followed by a comment from ██ ██████; 

"You're between the two realms, each and every day. Surely, you know this by now".

People often question the possibilities of what happens to a person once they die, once they reach The Realm of No Return (Null Realm, "The Other Side", whatever you wanna call it). It's not exactly something anyone really lives to tell about, especially as casually as I think back to it.

I was in the Null Realm more than once. 

The first time I recall being there, I saw myself as though I was another person looking at myself (as though from a 3rd person's perspective... think of it as an "out of body experience" if you'd like, it's similar). I felt that I was high above where my own body stood (the soul is, after all, separate from the body, if you prefer calling "ghosts" what they ACTUALLY are). It felt surreal.

I'd describe the Null Realm as a realm with no end, lit up by light that has no source to speak of, but otherwise consisting of infinite darkness that appeared to have walls, much like a hallway with no end in sight. I was there briefly, and the first time I was there, I somehow immediately knew where I was, as though I had been there many times before, even though I have no memories of being there prior to this incident (not that it means much; there's a lot I don't remember, but was told later). 

My only thought was, and I still remember it as though it had happened yesterday, "I'm not supposed to be here yet", before I immediately regained consciousness, and then felt sick for the rest of the day. It was strange, uncomfortable, and I'm still not sure if anyone would believe me, as very few would believe what I had experienced in the past.

The second time I remember being in the Null Realm, I had the same familiar "I've been here before" feeling, followed by the thought that, again, I wasn't supposed to be there yet. Regained consciousness, felt sick the entire day, same deal. Nothing too special about it.

The third, and most recent time, I was in the Null Realm again, but this time, I had no specific memory of it, just the sickness that followed after, and the dreadful feeling of "I just died and came back again" - a feeling that tends to stick around for a few days, now that I know what that is. 

This time, it was witnessed by ██ ██████. The explanation of the events was as follows: 

"I heard you fall on the floor, I tried to open the door but your body was blocking the door, so I couldn't get in. After I kept trying to pry the door open, you pulled your legs close to yourself, sitting on the floor, curled up, as though you had already been conscious". 

I have no memory of any of it. At all.

"You were talking, as though you were having a conversation with a co-worker that had died, before you started working full-time". 

I've never even seen or heard the guy before, but he did die very suddenly after months of experiencing a lot of health issues, including a number of sudden and serious mental issues (I briefly replaced him at work for some time). Once he died, the company needed a full-time employee, so I took the job... again.

The place where we work at, was... sort of calling for me, in a way. It can be best described as "a magnet pulling another magnet closer, by force rather than choice". There's a lot to it. Might explain it in the future.

My mind is a mess at the moment. I'll continue later.

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